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Got this from Facebook, Momastery

Got this from Facebook, Momastery

— 3 days ago with 8 notes
You’re Not In Love; You’re Addicted.

My last post focused on sex addiction. An addiction closely related with sex addiction is “love” addiction. Love is in quotes, as those who are addicted are usually not referring to actual healthy love. Sex and love addiction are so commonly bonded that there is a 12-step support group for the combination: Sexand Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA). Both love addiction and sex addiction are often viewed as disorders of intimacy.

“What the world generally refers to as love is an intense emotionality combining physical attraction, possessiveness, control, addiction, eroticism, and novelty.” This quote, from David R. Hawkins (pg71) calls out everyone. It challenges the reader on what they describe as love. But perhaps Psychology Today’s own Stanton Peele said it better: “We often say ‘love’ when we really mean, and are acting out, an addiction-a sterile, ingrown dependency relationship, with another person serving as the object of our need for security.” (Love and Addiction, pg.13). Perhaps, as the above quotes suggest, love is much more commonly an addiction than believed.

When someone is addicted to love, this person develops an unhealthyattachment to the passion and enthrallment of the beginning of a relationship. The individual may have a long history of short romantic relationships; ending the relationship when or shortly after the excitement dwindles. This results in ever increasing negative consequences in the individual’s life.

Another way someone can exhibit problematic behavior in regard to love is being addicted to an individual. Although the term codependency is overused, true codependency is an unhealthy attachment to another. Although this can happen with any relationship (mother /child is a common dynamic in codependent relationships), it is most common as a partner dynamic. In a codependent relationship one partner (or perhaps both) depend on the other for his or her positive emotions.

Many who have these types of addiction may never notice it. Their codependency or their short-lived relationships are accepted as normal. If the above authors are correct, many people who suffer from love addiction are completely unaware, and actually believe what they experience is normal and healthy.

You can read the rest here.

— 1 week ago with 7 notes
Was a Zen Master A Sex Addict?

In the book, “Zen Sex: The Way of Making Love”, Philip Toshio Sudo introduces many to Zen master Ikkyu Sojun, who lived 1394-1481. According to the text, Ikkyu was known to frequent brothels and bars (Sudo, 2000). These quotes by Ikkyu, “This lust my ceaseless koan” (pg.13) and “I dream of a girl’s boudoir, that’s my nature” (pg.14) illustrate his defiance of traditional Zen tenets with his passion for sex.  An argument could be made that Master Ikkyu had a sexual addiction.

Sexual addiction is a controversial topic. Many view it as nothing more than an excuse for (most often men’s) infidelity. Many do not believe it is an actual disorder. Of course, some do not believe in any addiction. But sexual addiction is especially prone to disbelief. To complicate matters, the American Psychiatric Association, in its publication the “DSM 5”, does not list it as a disorder.

Those that do believe in sexual addiction prefer the term hypersexuality disorder. According to the National Association of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, approximately three to six percent of the population suffers from some form of sex addiction (Berry, Ramnath; 2014). There are a number of treatment centers for sexual addiction, and several self-helpsupport groups that assist people who believe they have an addiction to sex.

You can read the rest here.

— 1 month ago with 2 notes
"

The highest truth cannot be put into words.

Therefore the greatest teacher has nothing to say.

He simply gives himself in service, and never worries.

"

-Lao Tzu

(via theilluminatedminds)

(via tao-te-ching)

— 1 month ago with 142 notes
Why Don't You Want To Feel Better? →

In his book, “Be Here Now”, Ram Dass indicates we seek the secrets of the east, or mysticism, yet they are not hidden. They’ve been in plain view forever. Yet people continue to search, as if the answers are hidden. The same could be said of the secrets to happiness (one might actually contend they are one and the same). Even when the road to peace and happiness has been paved in front of them through research and experiments, people continue to suffer. Ram Dass says clearly, “The secret is a secret to you because of where your head is at” (1971). The goal of this post is to help you understand the obstacles to change, and to alter where your “head” is.

Studies show there are many behavioral strategies that lead to more enjoyment in life, more peace, more happiness, more well being. Exercise is demonstrated to release chemicals in thebrain that contribute to confidence, a sense of well being, and even euphoria (not to mention the physiological health benefits) yet many remain sedentary. Meditation has been proven as effective as antidepressants for staving off relapse of depression, creating a calm and peace in life, and combating stress but few meditate. Focusing on the positive in life, through living in gratitude and journaling positive events, as well as sitting with the positive feeling, is indicated to increase levels of happiness in studies. (Achor, 2011; Hansen, 2009). Yet many, who have enough food, who live a relatively financially comfortable life, who have survival needs met, who are physically healthy or reasonably so, suffer psychologically.

You can red the rest at the link above.

— 2 months ago with 2 notes
Another Meditative Experience - Blog - William Berry, MS, CAP →
— 2 months ago
Enlightenment Through TED - Blog - William Berry, MS, CAP →
— 2 months ago
Russell Brand - Awakened Man →
— 2 months ago with 1 note